What springs to mind when you hear the phrase “bridging the partisan divide”? Perhaps it is the quest of understanding, the notion of civility, or the practice of compromise. Perhaps it is simply the pursuit of common ground. These are worthy goals indeed.
But if we are going to truly pierce the haze of mistrust that clouds us from seeing one another as fellow travelers with equal worth and dignity, we cannot simply “look past” our political differences in search of agreement. We cannot steer clear of discord nor navigate around it. To truly bridge the partisan divide, we must drive directly toward—and ultimately through—our most painful conflicts.
"IF WE ARE GOING TO TRULY PIERCE THE HAZE OF MISTRUST THAT CLOUDS US FROM SEEING ONE ANOTHER AS FELLOW TRAVELERS WITH EQUAL WORTH AND DIGNITY, WE CANNOT SIMPLY ‘LOOK PAST’ OUR POLITICAL DIFFERENCES IN SEARCH OF AGREEMENT."
Why? Because conflict is natural and inevitable. Interpersonal conflict is an inherent part of human relationships; social conflict is a universal feature of human groups and modern societies. Without conflict, we cannot achieve progress. Without conflict, we cannot truly explore our differences and discover the ways in which they complete us. But how? How can we approach conflict to bring forth its transformative power?
Braver Angels, the nation’s largest and fastest growing organization working to bring conservatives and progressives together, has developed a promising approach to the practice of intergroup contact, which holds lessons for us all. Its model, which draws inspiration from marriage and family therapy, treats conflict as a given and uses it as tool rather than an obstacle. Its workshops, which convene small groups of “reds” and “blues” for a series of exercises, were designed by Dr. William Doherty, a longtime family therapist who specializes in working with couples on the brink of divorce.
The red/blue workshop begins by asking the two groups to reflect on the stereotypes they feel the other side assigns to them. The fishbowl exercises enable the groups to hear each other’s perspectives in their own words. Their differences are not only acknowledged and explored; without tribal filters, they are clarified. Our shared values, so often shrouded by mutual suspicion, begin to shine through. In each other, they begin to see themselves.
"THE DEBATES’ STRUCTURE, HOWEVER, DEMANDS RATHER THAN REFLEXIVELY ARTICULATE THE POSITIONS ADVANCED BY THEIR TRIBE, PEOPLE MUST SAY WHAT THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE."
But we cannot just listen. We must also be heard. The Braver Angels Debates program enables people to argue—yes, argue—about the deepest fault lines in American life, from abortion and race to gun rights and trustworthy elections. The debates’ structure, however, demands that rather than reflexively articulate the positions advanced by their tribe, people must say what they actually believe. Freed from the need to defend orthodoxy, attack strawmen, or cast about with “what abouts,” people can explore issues with nuance and engage one another with vigor, not vitriol.
The debates establish that it is possible to facilitate powerful political debates in which Americans speak freely, fully, and without fear. They create a space that feels safe enough for everyone to meaningfully and vulnerably engage ideas with their own conscience. What emerges is a special form of mutual recognition. As April Lawson, the director of Braver Angels Debates, once described it, “Our debates help people love one another for their alternate moral bases, not in spite of them.”
"THE PARADOXICAL, DOWNSTREAM RESULT OF HEALTHY CONFLICT IS NOT JUST RELATIONSHIP; IT IS, IN FACT, COMMON GROUND.”
The paradoxical, downstream result of healthy conflict is not just relationship; it is, in fact, common ground. By using conflict as a pathway to trust and intimacy, we create the conditions needed to identify our true commonalities. On even the most controversial topics, we discover that we often do agree—if not on specific policies, then on foundational values. With trust established, we create a higher synthesis. We go beyond managing conflict by simply correcting misunderstandings and false stereotypes. We go beyond achieving conflict, which represents the critical act of clarifying the true (rather than imagined or exaggerated) nature of our disagreements. Ultimately, we transform conflict into a new frame that integrates diverse perspectives to paint a more complete picture of the relationship between our ideas, our stories, and our spirits.
The ground between us is fertile if we find the courage to traverse and water it together. Let us engage conflict with honesty and faith in one another. Let us feel our friction and hold one another in dignity. Let us build a foundation of social trust and nurture within our communities the ideals of our founding creed. As our differences become part of what makes us authentic, vulnerable, and worthy to one another, a miraculous future becomes inevitable—for ourselves and for our republic.
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Ciaran O’Connor is a marketing and communications strategist, currently serving as the chief marketing officer for Braver Angels, a grassroots organization focused on political depolarization. He previously served as a staffer on the 2012 Obama and 2016 Clinton campaigns.